What C4EM means to you
March 9, 2012 | 8:27 pm | Conor
James and I have been receiving mail from supporters since day one. They’ve been bittersweet, sad, funny, energising, enlightening, and they’ve kept us going. We want to share some of them with you. Have something you’d like to share? email us at email@example.com
As someone who had a happy marriage for 51 years I would hate to stop anyone else enjoying what I had. Good luck with the campaign.
Something I am curious about is whether people have used the argument that it is unfair to require people to include the phrase “Marriage according to the law of this country is the union of one man with one woman, voluntarily entered into for life to the exclusion of all others” in their civil marriage ceremony. This is a legal requirement and cannot be taken out.
I’m a straight woman and got married to my husband last September. I invited my best friend to be my bridesmaid, and I wanted her and her girlfriend of 10 years to be there at my ceremony. It made me ashamed that I would have to agree to those words in front of them. Basically, to get married in this country, I was forced to stand up and agree to something that I do not agree to. It is almost like being made to start your marriage with a lie. It made me feel guilty about getting married. In the end, my friend and her partner couldn’t make it back from Australia in time for my wedding. But I still feel awful that I was forced to agree to such wording on what was otherwise one of the best days of my life.
I’m not claiming that my being forced into agreeing to that was in anyway as awful as being prevented from marrying the person I love. Rather, the argument I am making is that there is no earthly reason for that phrase to be required. And that people who say “same sex couples have civil partnerships so there isn’t a problem” are wrong. There is a problem – that discrimination is written in to the very phrasing of the marriage ceremony. Anyone getting married in this country must, by law, agree to discrimination against same sex couples.
Cardinal O’Brien’s letter has only made me want to support your campaign and immediately sign your petition. I shall now endeavour to encourage all my friends and family to exercise their human right and sign it too, if they so choose. These are the people who have supported me through the challenges of accepting who I am. Making me feel comfortable enough to settle down in an 8 year relationship with my partner, I am confident they know what marriage should mean in todays world.
Thank you for standing up for all our rights and good luck with your campaign.
I just wanted to say well done with what you are doing. It’s bloody brilliant. Good on you guys. I am British Zambian and Bi, which makes my life very interesting! I am proud of who I am thought which makes campaigning easy as I don’t get offended by negative comments which is lucky. I am also lucky to be living with my German partner in Fiji as she is studying here. But as I am British, this campaign means the world to me! It’s funny as when I told my partner about the campaign she said I was making it up and the campaign didn’t exist. I asked her why I would make it up and she said she could not believe that there was not marriage equality in the UK. I had to Google it for her for her to believe me! It made me think about how we have so much freedom in our society, yet we still have to get this bill signed for sure.
It’s not just an issue for the LGB folk though, people who transition to the opposite sex, but still want to stay in their loving, committed marriages are at the moment forced by law to divorce because they would become a same-sex couple. This is outrageous and we want to help!
So pleased that you put this petition site together, I just read the ‘How it all began’ article on your site.
I would like to tell you how very wonderful I think it is that you did something. Something that people like me can participate in to add our own voices to counter those very nasty, ill-informed and odious comments that have been making the rounds. I just feel so very offended by those kinds of comments. Perhaps I should add that I happen to be straight. And then there’s the “Christian” Voices poll that spouts a figure of 70% in opposition! I just do not believe it, as simple as that. There are too many other polls showing a very different picture, plus the complete absence of any kind of anti-gay upswell, so no. Don’t believe it. Whenever I talk to friends and colleagues (most if not all of them are highly likely to be straight too) I just do not find even one person who is in adamant opposition to marriage equality. There are a few who may not be very sure or are happy with civil partnerships (I grudgingly allow them their opinion) but no-one actually states strong protest. I don’t know a single person who stated any opposition. Civil rights shouldn’t be put to a vote but, still, it would be nice to see reflected in polls what I see and hear in person. Overwhelming support.
I also wanted to tell you that I really like what you said about the equal marriage coalition: “…we see ourselves, those organisations, and each and every signatory as a part of the Coalition for Equal Marriage.” – I like that! A lot. Yes please, may I count myself as a part of it? I really, really like that. Makes me feel all empowered and stuff. Hehe. Love that in fact.
Anyway, well done both of you. I am so grateful that you went to the effort and allow someone like me to contribute my voice.
Keep up the good work
PS: for the world to become a better place we need everyone to have equal rights, and it feels like we are making progress a little bit at a time, with any personal story being told, with any other bit of whatever kind in support. It does get better. And that makes me feel better and happier because, frankly, I don’t wish to have special rights, I don’t want to be able to get married when some of my friends and family can’t. It’s just not okay.
…We get so busy just living and working that I sometimes completely forget that being a gay couple living together is even an issue for some people. Anyhow, I want to marry Adam – we have an amazing family and circle of friends around us and I know they’ll want to celebrate it with us. Marriage is what I want to call it. I want to try and explain why…
It’s been a funny couple of weeks that I’ve kept a close eye on the different arguments coming out about same-sex marriage. Earlier this year, encouraged by the fact that all party leaders seemed to support the idea of same-sex marriage, I thought that it was simply a matter of time before I would be able to marry Adam in this country. I don’t think I was quite prepared for how I would feel to hear the repugnant words of Cardinal O’Brien, or to see the numbers of people who had signed the c4m petition. It made both of us feel uncomfortable to know that these views were held by people in this country. For a moment, I felt a bit…unwelcome. We’ve had lucky lives, apparently untouched by this kind of prejudice before and so were perhaps just a little naive.
Opponents seem to have complicated the issue, in my view. I don’t know how deliberate that is. They’ve talked about the supposed social effects and other implications of legalising gay marriage. There is no proof for anything they have said (there IS proof that it has no measurable negative impact, if they just look at the 10 countries where same-sex marriage IS legal). They’ve talked about the dangers of ‘redefining’ marriage as if it is an inflexible concept that means the same thing to everyone. When of course, it isn’t and doesn’t.
Civil partnerships, in my opinion, only exist to pacify the religious. I find the concept actually a bit offensive, in that I think the very existence of a two-tier system implies that same-sex relationships are somehow not as good as opposite-sex relationships. I honestly believe that most people just don’t care about same-sex marriage: they are also too busy trying to just live. That said, if you had a one-on-one conversation with them, I believe they would agree that it should be made legal. And, if you pressed them a bit more, I think they would say that they believe it should be made legal because it is right to have equality in the law.
Disclaimer bit: I am grateful for civil partnerships, but it is not equality. I recognise that some people reject the very idea of marriage, but I implore them to sign this petition as I hope they can recognise that people should be able to have the right to choose whether to get married or not.
Conor and James – you have done something amazing here and totally played a notable part in the history of gay rights. It’s made people talk and think about it. It’s pushed it in the faces of people who might not have engaged with it otherwise, and I’m sure when I think back to this when I’m old and married to Adam, I’ll remember you and your lovely pink website!
Thank you xxxxxxxxxx
Good 4 U: we need to keep the influence of sky-god botherers and their risibly primitive, bigoted, beliefs out of our lives. Jesus wept!
I found your page on FB today by sheer coincidence. You guys have my full support. In our country, there’s a referendum campaign going on over step-child adoption for same-sex couples. (Referendum is taking place on March 25, with opinion polls on our side. For now.) I’ve seen what the right-wing propaganda is capable of; that is the most disgusting scare-tactics ever. 4 years ago, I was just vaguely aware of LGBT activism, though I’ve always passively supported same-sex couples. In September 2009, government proposed the adoption legislation – Family Code (which covers various clauses, but bigots have made same-sex adoption an issue. ) In the same month, right wingers launched organisation against the Code, claiming they were not anti-gay. I’ve been reading their shitty website for far too long to know it is an outright lie.
Don’t give up! As a straight woman, I am sure that same-sex marriage won’t ruin my traditional family. It won’t ruin any traditional family. It is about fairness.
I am Slovenian, so I am not eligible to sign, but I thought I’d just drop you a line to show support.
Best of luck,
My Name is James, I’m almost 17 years old, living in Newcastle Upon Tyne and I am gay. Having came out during high school in the twenty first century, I know first hand just what LGBT youth face.
Luckily, I was able to quite easily come out due to having such a liberal, modern family and existing gay people who I am related to. Most of my peers were all very loving and supportive, and most of my teachers knew and they had no problem with it. There was however, a small number of people in my school who were not the most gay-friendly people and since coming out I have been called every name under the sun, though it did not really bother me that much as I am very open minded and non-judgmental myself, there were days every now and again when I would just feel awful due to the comments made by a minority.
There were a few other gay people I knew of in my high school, some who were not fully out and some who were, and I would say all of them did not get the great support I did from both friends, family and staff. What is important to note is that I went to a very liberal, mainly atheist school and homophobic bullying still went on – so this made me think about how things must be in more socially conservative, religious schools. Now I am at college and there is such a huge diversity amongst people, I have actually met gay friends who are uncomfortable with their sexuality due to religious stigma within their schools and also their families.
This is why it is so important for same-sex marriage to become legislation. Right now there will be young people across the country trying to come to terms with their sexual orientation, and how can they be expected to embrace who they are when they know they are seen as only being allowed second class relationships – it will only make them feel inferior.
I would like to end this article with a message to young LGBT people who may be reading this.
What I’d love you to take away from this is that, no matter how bad it is now – it gets better, and it can get great. You are perfect and wonderful exactly as you are, you are not alone, and there are a tonne of us out here in this world. But you have to tough this period of your life out, and you have to live! I love you without even knowing you!
I met my husband four years ago this week; we got married in a simple but amazing ceremony at the Town Hall in New Canaan, Connecticut in July 2009. We have a marriage certificate and we are married. We are just waiting for the rest of the world to catch up. It’s the right thing to do.
Andrew and Ken
Powered by Facebook Comments